SheenBob KidPants: Help Wanted

Cast:
 * SpongeBob SquarePants - Sheen Estevez (Jimmy Neutron)
 * Patrick Star - Carl Wheezer (Jimmy Neutron)
 * Squidward Tentacles - Woody (Toy Story)
 * Eugene H. Krabs - Gru (Despicable Me)
 * Gary - E.B. (Hop)
 * Anchovies - Minions (Despicable Me)

Transcripts

 * [Following the SheenBob KidPants theme song, the brief opening titles show the names of creator Calvyn Bohnert, Robin Trifunovski and others. The episode opens with a bubble transition, and we see a coral reef under the sea. The camera zooms to initiate parallax scrolling, which reveals the city of Bikini Bottom. It continues zooming to show a brown rock, a Moai head, and a pineapple, which each contain inhabitants]
 * French Narrator: Ah, the sea...So fascinating. So wonderful. Here, we see Bikini Bottom, teeming with life. [Shows from left to right Carl's, Woody's, and Sheen's houses. Zooms in on Sheen's house] Home to one of my favorite creatures, Sheen Estevez. Yes, of course he lives in a pineapple, you silly. [Sheen's alarm sounds; he wakes, but is unaffected by the annoying sound, and with a smile turns it off. He climbs from his bed to a ladder leading to his diving board]
 * Sheen: Today's the big day, E.B.!
 * E.B.: Meow.
 * Sheen: [Jumps on the diving board] Look at me, I'm… [Jumps up, and leaves his underwear behind] ...naked! [Lands inside pants, walks over to exercise room. His head pops out of the top of his pants] Gotta be in top physical condition for today, E.B..
 * E.B.: Meow.
 * Sheen: [He goes inside his small gym that has a sign that says, "I Love Pain". Taking deep breaths, he prepares to lift a barbell that is balanced by two lightweight stuffed animals. He sticks out his chest, but almost passes out because he can barely lift it. He drops it, and it makes a 'squeak' noise] I'm ready! [Runs outside] I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready! [Carl Wheezer's rock tilts upwards with Carl stuck to its underside]
 * Carl: Go, Sheen! [Carl falls] Whoa! [Crash!]
 * Sheen: [Runs down the street to the Krusty Gru] There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating. The Krusty Gru, home of the Krabby Patty. With a 'Help Wanted' sign in the window! For years I've been dreaming of this moment! I'm gonna go in there, march straight to the manager, look 'Im straight in the eye, [breaks the fourth wall and looks the audience in the eye] lay it on the line and… I can't do this! [He starts to run home but Carl stops him] Uh, Carl!
 * Carl: Where do you think you're going?
 * Sheen: I was just...
 * Carl: No you're not. You're going to the Krusty Gru and get that job!
 * Sheen: I can't, don't you see? I'm not good enough!
 * Carl: Whose first words were "may I take your order"?
 * Sheen: Mine were.
 * Carl: Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in wood shop?
 * Sheen: I did.
 * Carl: [Grimaces and contorts twice while trying to come up with a good third line] Who's a, uh who's uhh. oh! who's a big yellow dude with holes?
 * Sheen: I am!
 * Carl: Who's ready?
 * Sheen: I'm ready!
 * Carl: Who's ready?
 * Sheen: I'm ready!
 * Carl: Who's ready?
 * Sheen: I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! [Runs toward the Krusty Gru]
 * Woody: [Cleaning graffiti of himself with the word Loser, sees Sheen, and sighs] Oh no, Sheen. What could he possibly want?
 * Sheen: [In background, at first while Woody was talking] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! Go Sheen! Go Sheen! Go Sheen! Go self! [Woody looks at the Help Wanted sign and runs inside]
 * Woody: [While Sheen says, "I'm ready" one more time in the background] Gru! [Cuts to the ordering window, where Gru is happily sniffing a handful of money. Woody runs up to him] Hurry, Gru, before it's too late, I gotta tell you.[interrupted by Sheen]
 * Sheen: Permission to come aboard, captain! [deep voice] I've been training my whole life for the day I could join the Krusty Krew, [normal voice] And now I'm ready. [SpongeBob trips on a nail stuck in the floorboard. His fall causes him to bounce against the ceiling, SpongeBob shouts and blurts incomprehensibly while his bounces and ricochets around the building accelerate. He then rolls to a stop at the feet of Woody and Gru] So, uh, when do I start?
 * Gru: Well lad, it looks like you don't even have your sea legs.
 * Sheen: Gru, please. Ill prove I'm fry cook material. Ask Woody, he'll vouch for me. [Gru and Woody quickly walk away from Sheen]
 * Woody: [deep breath] No. [Gru winks. They head back to Sheen]
 * Gru: Well lad, well give you a test, and if you pass, you'll be on the Krusty Krew! Go out and fetch me... [Sheen takes out a notepad] a, uh, hydrodynamic spatula...[Sheen quickly jots down what he says] with, um, port-and-starboard-attachments, [more scribbling] and, uh... turbo drive! [more scribbling] And don't come back till you get one! [Gru puts a Krusty Krab crew hat on Sheen. Sheen sees how he looks in a mirror, there are sparkles on his hat, and he has a huge, satisfied smile]
 * Sheen: [saluting Gru] Aye aye, captain! [reading] One hydrodynamic spatula, with port-and-starboard attachments, turbo drive, coming right up, Sir!
 * Gru: Carry on! [Sheen leaves] We'll never see that lubber again.
 * Woody: You're terrible! A hydro-what? [Woody and Gru laugh. While Woody laughs, his hat moves distinctly while he inhales and exhales. Gru laugh sounds like a pirate. As they laugh, Sheen is shown leaving the Krusty Gru. As Sheen fades out of sight, five buses drive toward the Krusty Gru from the opposite direction]
 * Bus Driver: Hey! Hey! Please! Passengers are to stay seated and put their hands out the window! [The buses surround the Krusty Gru and the doors open, Gru stops laughing]
 * Gru: That sounded like hatch doors! [sniffs repeatedly] Do you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells smelly. [bulgy eyes] Minions.
 * Woody: What?
 * Gru: Minions! [Minions get out of the buses and rush inside the Krusty Gru, crowding, repeating the word "meep" over and over again]
 * Woody: Please, please, quiet! [minions stop talking] Is this any way to behave, hmmm?
 * Minion: Meep!
 * Woody: Could we show a little decency and form a neat, single file line in front of the register? [The minions are quiet at first, then pick up the boat, as their cries of "meep!" become more intense. Cut to Barg'N-Mart as Sheen enters]
 * Sheen: [singing to himself] Barg'N-Mart, meeting all of your spatula needs. [Cuts to the Krusty Gru. Woody and Gru are still in the boat, and being tossed around]
 * Gru: All hands on deck! Get your anchors out of your pants!
 * Woody: One single file line was all I asked!
 * Gru: Whoa! Batten down the hatches, Woody! [Gru and Woody are thrown up in the air] Were taking on water, Woody! [they get thrown back up again] I want my mommy, Woody! [cuts to Barg'N-Mart]
 * Sheen: [singing] Do do do do do do, spatula, spatula, port-and-starboard attachments. [Cuts to the Krusty Gru]
 * Woody: HELP!!!!
 * Gru: MAN OVERBOARD!!! Climb, Woody! Climb! [They climb the mast, while the minions try to get them down. The minions then form a big wave]
 * Minions: Meep!!!! Meep!!!!!!
 * Gru: This is the end! Good-bye, Woody!
 * Woody: Oh Gru! [They cry, then Sheen comes in with red lights flashing and flying with the spatula, singing a heroic tune]
 * Sheen: Permission to come aboard captain! Da da da da da da da! Da da da da da da da da da da! Did someone order a spatula? [Woody and Gru are shocked] That's right! One hydrodynamic spatula with [two spatulas pop out on the sides of the previous one] port-and-starboard attachments, and lets not forget the turbo drive! [the two extending spatulas twirl around and smack Woody and Gru in the face] Would you believe they only had one in stock? To the kitchen! [to the minions] Who's hungry?! [Tiny Tim's Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the Moonlight plays while Sheen serves up Krabby Patty after Krabby Patty. Many, many, many Krabby Patties are launched through the opening window to the hungry minions. Eventually, all of the minions are served and they leave on the buses. Cuts to later]
 * Gru: That was the finest fast foodsmanship I've ever seen, Estevez! Welcome aboard! [Mr. Krabs gives SpongeBob a name tag]
 * Woody: But, but Gru...
 * Gru: Three cheers for SpongeBob! Hip-hip!
 * Woody: [weakly] Hooray,
 * Gru: Hip-hip!
 * Woody: [quickly] Hooray,
 * Gru: Hip-hip!
 * Woody [quickly] Hooray. Gru!
 * Gru: I'll be in my quarters, counting up the booty. [He wheels a wheelbarrow piled with an enormous stack of cash to his office. Carl enters]
 * Carl: Good morning, Krusty Krew!
 * Woody: What would you like to order, Carl?
 * Carl: One Krabby Patty, please. [Sheen flies back to the kitchen using his spatula and a score of Krabby Patties is immediately fired through the servery, which collide with Carl and send him flying out of the Krusty Gru. Cuts to Krusty Gru exterior; crashing noises]
 * Carl: [screams]
 * Woody: Gru! GRU!!! [calmly and singing] Gru, come see your new employeeeeeeeee! [added emphasis with the -ployee]